The Sirens: Planning The Attack! [Season 3, Episode 13]

You know that your product is solid when it’s ready for global expansion. The Emerald Cabal and The Black Network have perfected their immortality elixir grinding machine within the Cassalanter family estate and are getting ready to spread their findings to all of Faerun. Such a prosperous market would spell great things for all of the short-lived humans who could afford the elixirs and terrible things for any creatures of magic unfortunate enough to be ground to dust.

Naturally, it is up to the Sirens to plan their attack in the lucky thirteenth episode! Video first, then spoilers and a guide into just a few of the monsters getting ground to dust for immortality!

The Out-Of-Game Recap:

So what kind of monsters go into making an Elixir of Immortality or is it all hogwash? Looking into the back of the caravan, the party pulls out all the crates and finds the following unfortunate victims: Death Kiss, Boggle, Deep Scion, Fire Newt Warrior, Flail Snail, Grung, Unicorn, Kirin, Yuan-ti, and Almiraj. Some of these like the Unicorn, Kirin, and Yuan-ti are pretty common adventure heels that pop up in several modules. Others seem sort of random (perhaps they are added for taste like a Boggle?). Looking at this list though, one creature is so bad-ass it is deserving of it’s own spotlight.

The Flail Snail.

Having been around since the first edition of Dungeons & Dragons, the Flail Snail has been featured in every edition since (even though few parties have ever actually fought one). Thanks to the rise in snail popularity because of games like Undertale and the literary workings of snails found within, we can only begin to speculate on why the Emerald Cabal has one of these stellar creatures on their list.

For starters, these earth-based creatures are sought after by hunters due to the fact they can be harvested for valuable parts! Their shells fetch a high price on the market of at least 5,000 gold pieces because they are pretty and also make shields that reflect spells back at wizards. Grinding up their shells into powders, you can produce a dye that makes the robes of scintillating colors. or other glorious items that had anti-magic properties to them.

Their squishy bits were just as valuable and if you harvested their livers and stomach you could produce an elixir of health. Finding ways to catch its mucus and bottle it up gets you a disgusting potion of fire resistance but it will do in a pinch. Just like using its muscle and foot goo—one could invent a potion of climbing.

But wait, there’s more!

Following this ever-growing behemoth around, its trail will eventually harden and turn into glass that was either clear or opaque. In Faerun, it is entirely possible to have a career following a Flail Snail and selling the glass it leaves in its wake! Now we can live out our D&D and Animal Crossing roleplaying fantasies. This creature truly is the cow of the wizarding world, but none of these traits are what slaps it on the Emerald Cabal’s grinding list.

Flail Snails decide if they wish to age in reverse or forward on a whim. One day a snail can simply decide it is tired of being forty-eight years old and starts aging backwards until it becomes a supple young teenager yet again. Surprisingly, it still grows larger and larger despite aging in reverse, then aging old again, then aging in reverse until someone eventually decides enough-is-enough and tries to steal the bloody things immortality out of jealousy.

Can’t really blame them either, but it is no wonder that a Flail Snail became Unkh, one of the Nine Trickster Gods of Chult.

You would worship this if it showed up at your doorstep. Don’t lie.

You would worship this if it showed up at your doorstep. Don’t lie.

The Story Thus Far:

This session begins with Xaris and Orisha doing the bardly thing… singing! Vlahnya moves things along and says they should go to the college because she has years of information all documented within her room the party can review to learn about the Emerald Cabal.

She’s a few episodes too late.

The party after catching up Vlahnya and trying to make a plan, decide to go down into the cave in order to take stock of the creatures found in the 16-wheeled carriage and look into the two drivers (who they stuffed inside the crate Vlanya was stored in). Brig does the lions share of work and starts pulling everyone off the loading ramp while the party keeps talking about their plan. This prompts one of the drivers to laugh and make a joke about how stupid it is and that it would never work. So naturally, Fey Lore stabs him in the face and uses Mantle of Whispers to pull his shadow through her arm leaving Xaris and Orisha utterly stunned.

The other driver opens up instantly, now utterly terrified for his life about everything that he knows and the parties plan begins to form the obvious Trojan horse plan. Hide the body of the driver, calm the animals on the big carriage, and load the caravan with sell swords while driving it right into the Cassalanter estate. From there, they could burst out and slaughter everyone inside and break all the machines before they are shipped around the world. Brig’s plan may be ambitious, but everyone adds a few tweaks to get it into a manageable state. Starting with the fact they are going to hire thieves from the thieves guild in smaller numbers to sneak in and disable the machines rather than kill everything.

While some of the Sirens work at talking to the monsters captured, others get the materials they need to pick magical locks, find blacksmiths, and recruit thieves. Dropping a sizable amount of gold-coin in the center of Waterdeep is eventually going to attract attention, and near the end of the episode some human thieves attempt to shake down Brig and Fey Lore—giving the party the rest of the healing potions and loot they need to complete their conquest!

Finally on their way to the Cassalanter estate, the group uses Hallucinatory Terrain to create the illusion it is still filled with crates and all the creatures within them before the final fights start to unfold.

Have the Sirens been betrayed? Will the Emerald Cabal finally get the upper hand they deserve?